I need an aide-mémoire

don't mind me

haha got a really pleasant surprise a few moments earlier:DDD

great to know that though what I did wasn't stellar,it was enough.
gosh,it sounds weird but: the holidays are taking its toll and making me into a much sluggier person-not good,not good at all considering progress in my work is seriously worse than slow.

and to think of it now,i haven't seen my hp/been online/checked email and fb for days
WELCOME,'YEAR ONE'

and You always know how to get to my heart :)

you see,how different things seems now?

the social circles that just keep spinning either closer to your range or out of control

they said time took it all away

i think you did.

D:

In retrospect,no one should ever

1.put up with stalkerish people who claim you look like their kin

2.deny what they said just moments ago

3.set double standards

4.keep hoping in something that's just not going to happen

5.act too chummy with someone who's just isn't so with you

6.be impatient with kids who just want to learn something
forgetting that they were probably once that way too.


...

......

............



the list probably won't stop just there.

balance

well then if you're too optimistic at times and too pessimistic at others,

wouldn't that just be right?

BACKBACKBACK

hello its been lonnnnnnng

and while many things have happened,it seems theres nothing in particular to talk about

haha but im here cos of what caiyiling said:DD

(if you do happen to read this,feel honoured k! haha)

promos and stuff are over and I went out for quite abit.

met amazing friends from other countries during the youth exchange programme by HI.

and even a bizarre encounter where i almost saw one of the seven pple in the world who looks like me ( other than my sis)-did you ever hear that before? the myth that there are 7 ppl in the world currently who look exactly like you but you should never ever meet them?

oh well then had a trip to the museum w my sis and Sili and TB which cost me nothing cos im a FRIEND OF THE MUSEUM where we saw the movie marathon event on the way and ate ice cream



you see this post is getting boring alr.

this is why i do not blog- a month's worth of events can be summed up in such a monotonous short blog post.



then just went out with caiyiling (Jolene) and caught up with her quite a bit! alot of stuff shared with each other haha she's exactly the type of friend who can be off your radar for awhile and then appear but then you find out that you still can click quite so well:DD



this thurs's day out again with Sili and Yuzhen/BJ and Ms POPO:DD

this fri's celebration and BOD meeting,

hope that i'll finish all that I need to before that

though i highly doubt so

HAHA AND THATS ALL
YOU'D ALR BE ASLEEP RITE -so boring haha

buts thats ok:DDD

LIBERATION ARRIVED A FEW HOURS AGO


it was surreal then now its underwhelmed

AND I STILL CANNOT UPLOAD PHOTOS!

redsplotches here there everywhere

oh why oh why during the hols????????

now i've to cancel all my plans and ruin my schedule:(:(:(
way to go Lee Xu Ying!D:


STUPID CRABS

hi!!

haha just felt like "writing" this.its for you though we haven't spoken in light years
i think you'll know.
i hope you're happy even though my ideals just cannot pul through.haven't spoken in agessssssss
and i don't know how to start talking again.the more you knew the more i wanted to pull away.the more you didn't the more i'd start wondering.

just wanted to say hi.
its not a conversation ender.

but that's ok.
i think im happy now:)

:)

COULDN'T RESIST THE TEMPTATIONNNNNNNNNN

so im here for a shortshortshort post.

if i can squeeze what i want to say in a word cap of.......


haha ohkay
these days i've been getting a really awesome feeling in my heart
yup you know the type that just totally melts then sporadically fills up again with
bouts of happiness?? again?and again? and again?

doesn't look like much on the screen cos its just smth you have to feel

And its all because of some awesome ppl in my life i really srsly need to thank God for.
which made me conscious that i have much to cherish and be grateful for.
my sis and parents for instance.especially when my mum reminded me of something
then my awesome clique BOOMSXZSX HAHA cannot tell you how touched i am for so many moments in the past 6 mths.like e pushcart times when its just me and sis's duty then today again when they knew we had a phobia of the glass panels.

and my cutecute junior who took time out to study even though she is goin to have o's soon,
HAPPY BDAE BJ!
and my sec sch friends who always looked out for me like lamer/V/Sili/Yuzhen/Jolene

i miss Annette too;when did we last talk???

Squares,Teddies,Camels,Chinese dramas,Cookies and the Mafia!:):)

blogger's throwing its usual tantrums again...
hope the picture problems resolve by itself though


today was a lonely day at school because meimei was sick and the trips to and from school
felt especially dreary.

good thing there's ___ around to keep me company and cheer me up!:DDD
in case you haven't noticed: the blank space was meant for the supposed clique name
we were supposed to come up with.

HOLIDAYS ARE NOT EVEN HERE AND ITS ALR PACKED
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY

promos are looming dangerously near but while my brain reminds me of a sense of
urgency i must feel the rest of me just obstinately refuses to comply.

so how you tell me ?HOW???:(:(:(

oh well the days have been good so far: I remained a loyal patroniser of subway
and ......saw many more things that made me quite unbelievably happy
squares never made me happier just like how we have newfound love for....
HAHA

and seeing is believing:DDD

I NEED TO CHECK MY HP.

gosh just realised i haven't seen it since... ??








return to civilisation time!:D

find it back

no this is not meant to be sad.

first time I've touched the com since ytd afternoon which isn't exactly very long
but somehow it feels weirdly like I ve gone on a long hiatus.

revelations one after another showed up.
can't say if its goood or bad-just trying to ground myself again.

hmmn just seems that my perceptions of a few people changed.quite drastically.
I don't know whether to trust that instinct of mine again,those preperceptions i sometimes
harbour of people at first glance.

then again,its my own doing anyhow.stupid need of mine to feel compelled to know.
what started out as a mere chancing upon always spirals into knowing.
the other most likely doesn't know.
but thats ok.

HO HUM DE DUM

ONE DAY IM SRSLY GOIN TO GET IRRITATED WITH BLOGGERS LACK OF ABILITY

WHY NO PICTURESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

oh well but for now Im in too good a mood to grouse about this.

ytd was weirdly one of those days which was neutral.
a first for me.haha
tons of good stuff happened and it was neutralised by the bad stuff.

No PE which was great! then my sis got a little elated after that in the canteen
and i did too
which was awesome as well
and then our team with WeiShee,Sis,me and KorWoong unepectedly won the hist debate.
didn't expect it cos we were rushing just the night before.
but oh well unexpected stuff do happen.
pushcart duty made me really happy!;):):):) haha

then 2 straight periods of freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but after that there was that glass incident
which was horrifyingly embarrassing!
Me and XQ was attempting to put stuff on the notice board and then trying to close the
irritatingly stubborn glass panel which just wouldn't budge.
as usual.
and the next moment we knew,the whole glass panel started to unhinge
the next thing we knew we were holding to one big piece of glass with several other large pieces on the floor which made up half the panel
and the other half was smashed to trillions ,some which spilled over beyond our feet
The sound was the only thing that made me really realise what actually happened -it was blasting!
and we stood there for quite awhile
both of us were in shock I guess.

Thank you God for keeping me and sis safe.we both got away unhurt.
good thing Pearlyn and Kenneth was there to help us haha I didn't know when I really got out of shock.The severity really got to me when the uncle who came to clear the glass started talking about the $ we had to pay(hope he was joking:( , and when the principal Mrs Loke came to see what happened and started saying how freak accidents like these do happen..
oops.............
and me and XQ started to talk to each other for the first time after it happened saying how we had this impending sense of doom;(:(:(:(:(:(
what a gd way to start the first day of being seventeen huh!
just imagine if everyday is going to be as dramatic

not to forget our new-found all time favourite personna
who just seriously creeps me out!

ha! but I'm not going to let you get to me because I'm not going to be scared of you!!

oh no
just had a thought
what if like Joanne said what if ......

SORRY SAMYO!
PLS GET WELL SOON!!

indirectly but still can't help feeling abit guilty!:(

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:DDDD

PART 2
of the series of happy posts.......
is dedicated specially to the Clique!!!!!!!
hmmn haha we need to come up with a name like Joanne said( was reading your blog)

sadly I can't post any pictures.
well but I'll try to adequately express what I have in words.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO YOU GUYS!
ME AND XUQI HAD AN AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME BDAE
WHICH LEFT ME TOUCHED TTM!
(to the max haha not think too much)

went to the marquee on the morning of 20th August and saw absolutely no traces of our clique.
when the whole lot of them (except Joanne) failed to materialise
we decided to just make our way to the parade square when they burst out in song!

yayyayyayyayyayyay
then they gave us 17 + 3 items to celebrate our turning seventeen!
thanks you guys! so so so thoughtful of you to come up with such a cool concept!!!:DDDD
and I knew my bdae was complete when i saw......while buying ice choc at gd news cafe.
yupyupyupyupyup
haha the Clique knows what I meant!

you see now that words has srsly failed me.

those items are sitting happily on our desks now! i CAN'T WAIT TO USE THEM!!
the facewash/notebook/notepad/shoelaces/clips/saline/jelly crystals/hairband/pen/macho meng/no-bake......
HAHA OMG XQ and I are gonna attempt to no-bake those dessert tmr.
lets hope we don't fail.AT LEAST NOT ULTIMATELY-PHAIL
if not then it would be absurdly embarrassing lol.

THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH!
I HEART YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!<33333333333333
IT REALLY WAS ONE OF MY HAPPIEEST BDAES EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


oh and thanks to Jolene for your hug!!!:DDDD
And to Ms Popo aka Liwenn for that really coooooooollll
message at 20:08
haha only popo can think up of something so cool!
you're srsly goin to be one hip granny HAHA
and to V !! lol first msg of the day!AND TO SILI AND YUZHEN
(must watch coco before chanel!!)

oh and BJ don't sad k! really thank you so muc for remembering!
all the best for the O's:DDDDDDDDDDD

THANKS ALL THOSE WHO WISHED ME
YOU REALLY MADE MY DAY!

Say it together now! God is Great!

HAHA THIS IS GOING TO BE SOME SUPERDUPER INSANELY HAPPY POST
for once.

and probably there will be more to come.;):):)
whoosh!!!!!!!!!
(cue the happy quotes )

shall attempt to blog all the events in chronological order
mayb I need 2 posts:D

firstly I wanna thank God for the answer.
I'm not certain at all if thats what He really has for me
but I definately felt something that day.no mistake about that.
and I just want to tell all you people out there that He is one who doesn't forsake you
not in your weakest moments.Certainly not.
and He doesn't ever give you more than you can take.

haha I can't really say out what exactly happened that day because its quite personal
and I don't really want to take out that special element of that private moment.
yet.
but if you ever want to hear something to tell you how great He is.
just ask me to tell you what He has done for me:D

and I also wanna thank Him for the awesome people He has put in my life:)

trytrytry as i might

guess what I'm feeling.
mood fluctuation time.


exciting week going on.awesome events with friend at so many places:D
Lee Xu Ying was a happy girl so many times.

lovely breakfast with Jolene one wed/
jts/econs seminar with Rachelle,Olivia,Jamie/lunch after with Olivia/
meetup with Sili/
Subway with sis and Joanne @city hall after celebration ytd/
Sak's brother's wedding with cg3209 clique/
funfunfun with my favourite ppl in the world

haven't seen Jean yet though;(...we'll make time I promise!

then its home to lit/hist/econs essays,math ws and a hist test on wed to study for
and I got quite upset thinking again because i found another reason why it would not materialise,and why I might stop it before it becomes like that same situation that happened.
It was years ago,and now I'm at the same stage,there's something that just feels wrong
but I don't want to be under the obligation of anyone.

not alot of ppl I could talk to,but I need an opinion i guess.
I just don't know what to do,it's a feeling i hate, this hanging-in-the-air feeling
like you're suspended midway with no inkling of when you'll reach the ground again.

pray for me please.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH BLOGGER

why can't i see my toolbar anymore
when i want to blog


this is like making me write in left hand

its inadequate

won't

Bouts of insanity in class leave me feeling kind of depressed back at home

really love my friends who go insane with me

so much so that at least im conscious im still me.

so many things to catch up with and theres UNNAS tommorow

sitting in front of the computer.

constraints.

you know

I may never find him

what went right

everything;nothing

nothing to be done now...right?

i almost forgot my password.

so that's how I knew it was a loooooong time since I blogged.

so anwwww went around camwhoring and ATTEMPTING to have fun

though we were successful to some extent:)

and we did our take of how one should look in mourning for MJ.

though his demise didn't actually strike a chord in me because

he's just rmb-ered for stupid antics in our time.

i.e his dangling the baby over the railing.

what was he thinking of???????

haha and now thanks to Ms Nansi ,I'll never look at Beyonce in the same way ever again.

jcts were not fun. at all .

not like Mr Chan claimed it was:it may have been for him years ago.

but its definitely not now.

far from it.

unless you argue about perception.

which i think would get neither of us nowhere actually simply because

no one can argue against something so intangible.

ohkay so while there's an unofficial break going on for me now

its not what I thought it would be.

IT DOESNT' FEEL LIKE RESTING AT ALL

because everyother thing that seemed so minute and insignificant

comes back haunting so incessantly that you realise that it was only

miscellanous then but important now.

so it gets quite depressing because there will always be something

popping out even if you don't want it to.

:(((((((((((((((((((((

ohkayyyyyyy

shall not let this be some emo post

haha

I STILL WANT TO GO OUT

GOSH

and especially since some outings have yet to be materialised!D:

Lee Xu Ying needs to stop thinking/worrying/procrastinating and actually start

planning.

especially thinking: just a mere 2 days got me realising what I never saw before

EVER.and I have only myself to blame.

my silly self.

too late too late like they all say.

good morning starshine! :D

and wasn't that what Willy Wonka said in the movie?

haha that was one of the only line I remembered from that movie and it stuck:)

NOT THAT I LIKE JOHNNY DEPP

although he's quite hot haha but abit out of a 17 year old girl's league.

sorry yet hong! haha

wait but he's definitely in a 17 year old girl's league:

:D

LEE MIN HO AKA GU JUN PYO

ultimate bf material!

so anyway im in a good happy bumbly mood today!

because a horrificly tiring day was over

and although a good lot of my brain cells feel as though it has been slaughtered

i still managed to get through it!:):)

ain't that great!haha

no one should ever put hist and econs together.

its a whole new nightmare.

oh and speaking of nightmares..

last week was filled with bizarre dreams that keep linking up

like some drama serial unfolding.it was like dreams on Mon,thurs then sat which were all continuations of each other and the rest were dreamless sleeps.I kept seeing this person who i allegedly was trying not to at our sch's sports complex where he kept trying to talk to me

and it seemed like we're pretty close although we're not in real life

!

i don't know what its supposed to mean.

oh and there was this other dream I had for the second time

where my vision just keep getting grey and distorted and everyone

was moving purposefully somewhere.

oh well.

I guess i should just shrug it off or something since it was a week ago.

and start planning for after jct's

haha:):)

outings with: the 32/09 clique/jolene/sili/lamer and v/popo and jean:DDD

oh and im so goin to watch this:

any takers!!:)

and this:

coming up on 20/08

MY BDAE!!

omg can't wait!

:DDD

and the earth envelopes:)

SLEEP TIGHT

IM OFF TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

so there goes my plans of blogging today!:(

more in the morning!

hopefully i don't get those dreams again.

cos you got me thinking all over again

take a breath.

decided to take a breather amidst all the stuff catching up on me this past few days:(
been so busy i feel like its all catching in my throat and i can't breath.
or putting my arms around this pillar that's way too huge u can't freaking wrap your arms all around it no matter how hard you try.
makes u feel like what u do just doesn't match up.

ok its not all in a bad way.
just that i can't help shaking off the feeling that im forgetting to do smth really impt
or im bound to forget to do smth.:(

past few days kept having bad dreams too: which i don't believe are a premonition
or watever thesuperstitious call them.
just that it doesn't get one in a very optimistic mood for the day.
they are not exactly bad...actually maybe i just don't know how to react to them.
tell more about it after probably tmr!

TODAY WAS QUITE AWESOME!
never expected bsiness symposium to be so...
oh well but here's the catch: more business proposals and pitching/presentations tmr!
only this time its to really big shots in business i.e. CFO of American Broadcasting Company
gasp!
really hope i don't blank out tmr or start rambbling incoherently :(
updates reaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll soon!


go on do it: make all those wishes you have to

prequel

irony happens as always

look at my blogging spree and my absence for a whole day following straight after.

haha

i really SHOULDN'T talk too soon.

oh well ,just got home

had my first ever BOD meeting today which left me feeling quite satisfied.

my whole body is like going into hibernation mode now.

that's how tired i am.

still have to rush out a proposal by tmr! though i guess i better finish by tonight in case situations crop up as always.cross my fingers and hope im awake enough to do so.

I hope it really gets approved because even i feel its quite fresh. i can't wait to start the new suggestions rolling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHA it was hilarious today.seriously.brainstorming takes on a whole new idea, and i think now everyone has an inkling of my obsession with infocomm.for reasons that i shan't put up here.it'll only spoil our plan.LOL

ate subway and tried the rainbow cookie.it only upped my happiness scale by a few notches:( should feedback for other flavors to bring in instead.ohoh speaking of happiness scale...... someone really made my day ytd:D

thanks simple fergie HAHA .ohkay i shall not be mean and reveal your folly like i promised to.though you should really thank me from saving you the prospect of impending humiliation. i risk my reputation for you ohkay! good thing i didn't say out where i was from.

oh well ! haha Pearlyn! i understand what you mean now...nevermind i guess i shall know the true meaning of sacrifice after this two years.:DDD Lee Xu Ying shall persevere!:)

ps: Hello to you Simple fergie if you are reading this! lol hi too Jolene.:DDD oh and hi daryl:)

LOOK!

LEE XU YING IS OFFICIALLY ON A BLOGGING SPREE NOW!!

and she remembered how she ate her tang yuen again ytd for supper

and how she became a happier girl after that.

dope could have been in it .

or its probably just her joy pill.

she and her sis made an extended nick name for....

thank you so much! haha you probably know we cnt reveal your name and you'd probably ask us not to anw.i won't disappoint you!do my utmost not to!

(btw heyyy:i don't know how to say this to you and my consolation probably don't mean a thing especially since seeing how things have turned out. but im always there for you ya?

hope you know im talking about you.)

cos you'd let me wish on your shooting star

im not waking up in vegas though:D

katy perry has this new song with an mv which has hope in all its different forms splattered across the screen.

that waking up in vegas song

ohkay maybe not hope.surrealness and novelty probably.

and its what im feeling from last night till now.:D

guess the fact hasn't really sunk in yet and i don't know when it will.ECLUB CAMP WAS A THRILL AND HORRER IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

to tell you the truth though,first day was a little bit of a bummer because of the turnout, isn't there nothing more disappointing than to find out that there isn't anyone to enjoy the games you planned?and there was that mere 5 minutes that got my heart sinking down- that 5 minutes at the benches where i thought the result wasn't going to be so good and cheery.srsly i thought she said it as a form of mental preparation for me.

but anw at least MORE THAN LADY GAGA was thrilling and rly did its job of lifting my spirits again.I'LL NEVER LOOK AT LADY GAGA IN THE SAME WAY EVER.she can go and do all the plastic surgery she wants.

and then day 2 of camp came and i was trying not to think about the handover results especially when JUSTIN KEPT SCARING ME AND MY SIS and saying stuff like the world being round and unfairness in relation.then CONCERT CAME AND IT LOOMED SO NEAR IT WAS INEVITABLE.part 2 started off nerve wrecking when the BOD gave us a prequel just to gauge our reaction.

then i just tried to shrug off the fact that i didnt get a tap. it was probably the first time everyone wanted a tap on the back so badly just because it was indicative whether or not you were in the next BOD.

oh well then the actual handover came.AND WE REALISED THEY TRICKED US!

haha ohkay wasn't too thrilled with the initial results because I was appointed marketing director and XQ the pushcart director and both were our third choices.but oh well compare that to the initial expectation of not being in BOD and i thought that one must at least try to be contented with one's lot.So we were all given our handover stuff which we were not yet allowed to open.

but i decided to ask a question then out loud when they asked if we were unhappy with the results.i almost kicked myself for being so impulsive cos i was the only one to ask and my question came out a bit incoherent.

then they went down the row asking us to open our handover stuff one by one.i think i sort of suspected smth amiss again and Ashlyn confirmed my suspicion!She was the first to open and found out that she got handover items for pushcart director and

WE REALISED WE WERE BEING TRICKED AGAIN!

then my sis got the marketing director handover items and i was really happy for her cos it was her first choice.

but where did that leave me then???

finally it was my turn to open but they stopped me and questioned what post i thought i would get,and i said assistant MD cos it was my first choice

and my heart stopped for a moment when i opened and i got managing director handover items!!

!!!:DD

i really wasn't expecting it cos i have no experience heading a cca before but i really must and will do my best though.have to say that im THRILLED too cos it was my second choice:):)

and i've got big shoes to fill

SU LYNNNNNNNNNNNN FTW!:)

THIS POST:

is dedicated to  MS CHANG SU LYNN the awesomest awesome e club mate becauseeeee

she is a fraternal triplet to the identical twins.

i promised her not to say  that her secret desire is to be the triplet of the twins because of obvious reasons no one can deny.HAHA.ain'tno need to say out at all. we understand.lol.

OH .and the matching green shirt says it all.really.

WE LOVE YOU SU LYNN.AND WE KNOW YOU LOVE US TOO:D

This is most depressing.

went downstairs to the kitchen and couldn't find anything i liked to eat.

HUNGRYYYYYYY

and to think i ate dinner quite late.

thought about my REALLY AWESOME lunch this afternoon with my sis.

and the hunger got worse.

haha so oh well lets see if typing about it is going to make the hunger

go away.since I get it off my head and try to stop thinking about it.

WARPED LOGIC.I KNOW.

so anw we had a highly unconventional lunch after THE FILMING in school

after traipsing about aimlessly around macs and along the hawker centre at bedok inter

and wondering why everywhere it seemed was so packed even though its way past lunch.

then us spontaneous twins decided to have tang yuen/glutinous rice balls

for lunch.:)

not a proper meal i guess but considering its made of rice..

and its got the word rice in its name more than accounts for the fact that we did

eat rice for lunch.

right?

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED IT

until i took the first mouthful.

heaven.utter bliss i tell you.

there's a reason why it's my favourite dessert:)

and why i really really love it even though i don't eat it often.

in more ways than one

lt was like like like....

did you forget how i looked with specs?haha

Helloooooooooooo

oh wells i have a problem!

many actually.depends on what you would constitute as a problem

or how well you can take situations.

small-scale ones in my context probably don't mean a thing to the next individual

so here goes

my one problem:

I CAN'T FREAKING EXPRESS MYSELF PROPERLY THIS DAYS

and ain't that one big headache in the mind???

its like i cannot find good words to substitute what im feeling

and everything becomes classified as: ok/good/bad/fine.

what is wrong with me.

RATHER :WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PROBLEM.

its not me its it im almost certain.

just like how they all say :'its not me its you"

it has no boundaries and definitions or even a proper resolution 

if you really think about it.

so im just stuck with it until i come to terms with this fact.

or until i become adequate once again!

anw today was kind of normal.

econs lecture was not as bad cos OHLAYVIA BROUGHT FABULOUS SNACKS

and so the usually sleepy me was kept wide awake.

or at least i looked wide awake,although for all i know i could have just been internally sleeping.

oh and 

watch out for the PARODIES!!!!!!!!!

HAHA WE FILMED THEM TODAY

and i can't reveal much about it cos its supposed to be a secret till later

maybe i'll post it

IT WAS ABSOLUTE FUN.MORE THAN YOU'D EVER KNOW.

haha and......

congratulations anjoline! lol

haha ohkay don't mind me.

and we all felt a tug at our heartstrings

didn't you already know

im such a contradiction its not even funny.

just stupidly absurd.

it was just tuesday when i kept on at how bored i was going to be

and how i would get eventually addicted to the prospect of blogging

and looked what happened.

just shows you can't talk too soon.

yesterday became so flooded with camp planning stuff

that i couldn't even stop to type one measley paragraph.

GGAAAAHHHH

and the fact that im such a noob at blogging is not helping much.

look what happened to my nice pretty blogskin.

went haywire the moment i tried to put my playlist.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!:(

hmmn and...

my sis and i seem to be experiencing the exact same type of situation.

cool in a way i guess but its like a very mirroring hollow effect.

like how you would feel putting your head in a tub of water and attempting to look or move.

slow /helpless/needy.

i should really try to hear what is going on around.

ohlayvia's words came back beckoning to me today:)

im feeling much much better.

getting over that...:):):)

a first for you.

what now

i am supposed to be doing my camp planning

read: supposed to

but im obviously not?

and the time is ticking away so blatantly in front of me

while im still thinking about why i still invariably want to blog?

it catches 

and grows on you ,you know?

in a way?

this better not continue on when term starts.

im not doing what imsupposed to anymore

and it gets worse 

by the year

the months

the hour

and i suddenly become fully conscious of it till now. I don't know why.

thought of the poem i wrote for lit class on last day of term 2.

guess what colour it depicts. haha i think it depicts my mood now:

Those eyes draw you in

Absorber in the most perfect sense

Amazing Grace plays on in the background.

Hueless.

Eyes downcast.

Your breath catching.

the room is silent.

No light at tunnel's end

Dark as a night.oidhche mhath.

Void.

collapsed stars

A thick mask

where your heart is.

go figure

you,you,you,you,you,you.....

i am bored now:(

and this just justifies my claim in the previous posts about how i will spend my hols.

oh well and you know what i do when im bored don't you?

TTM

which isn't going to do me much good.really.

ohkay and i thought about you.and you.AND you.and even YOU.

and i realised i have much to learn and be thankful for.yup even those horrible moments.

so here's what i wanted to say all along-every sentence applies to a different person if you realised.

i...

wish that i'd never seen you in that light.

thought that i could have talked to you more often.

should have just gone straight up to accompany you.

could have been your shoulder for you to lean on.

need to be more receptive towards you.

will continue going on being bestest chummy friends with you:)

hope i didn't give you the wrong signal.

reminded myself to keep in check.

longed for the situation between us to turn out better.

knew you known all along.i did too.

never expected you to look past me.

.............................................

.............................

..............

just wanna see you.

I should be so lucky

hmmn shall give some update on my life up till now

which may not seem all that exciting after all 

now that its laid out in black and white

 not exactly a movie yeah?

but still.

past few weeks was fine .

all the same old usual stuff and school

with some highlights like the choir concert which was

AWESOME

haha.

ohlayvia was so cute in her little dress ,she reminded me of some doll i had when i was young:)

and samyo "proposed" to anjioline!lol

the bad stuff happened in the morning though.im really quite glad it didnt infect the night.

I sustained a cut right smack on my nose for apparently no reason.

you could tell in that photo.

hmmn ok not really no reason.I know how that cut got there but i don't understand why

some board at the pushcard just fell and cut my nose.

It sounds damn weird.

i thought it was gonna cut my eye.seriously:(

and I went for my first ever facial on fri after a loooooong horrible day in sch

felt really disappointed after i missed some impt event and thought i would get cheered up

but NO

the pain is UNFORGETTABLE

i really didnt know they do those kind of things to you for facial

like cut and scrap your skin until blood red

and i emerged from that place looking like some WWII survivor.

AAHHHH

same old; same old

OHKAY

i think i can already guess how my hols are going to turn out at this rate

a few hours into the first day and i feel lethargic already

hopeless case of a battle long gone:(

my mood just fluctuated to way low...

not a very good sign.hmphs

do the hols do this to you? 

i don't think i wanna know.

NEWNEWNEW

heyhey

posting for the first time on this blog:D

wheeeee im feeling high 

for the first time since ....

cnt remember

Attempted consistently blogging for multiple times already and have failed miserably

sad.:(

hope it doesnt happen this time!!!:):)

cross your fingers,now

lalala